Curious Inkling Blog

New Coaster Delivers The Smack Down

Japan, has long been the home of wacky cool stuff American geeks wish they had. From Nintendo to street side porn vending machines, from Godzilla movies to crazy genitalia-crushing game shows, Japan has long been a key player in bringing the WTF factor to the entertainment world. This year, they’ve done it again and this time the WTF factor just bitch slapped your happy ass into the ground. Japan’s newest roller coaster is named “Takabisha” which translates into English as “domineering” or “we gonna make you cry, wimpy-boy”.

According to the Guinness Book Of World Records, Takabisha is the worlds steepest roller coaster and it should be for the whopping $37 million spent to build it. It can be found in an amusement park  that rests at the foot of Mt. Fuji called Fuji-Q Highland. A brain warping, 2.5 minute ride will only set you back around thirteen bones. For that price you get a one kilometer rip through terror that includes, 100km/hour speeds,  seven major twists, an agonizing 43 meter rise and a 121 degree freefall that will make you call it daddy. But rather than describe it, maybe you should just enjoy the video to get a real perspective of what this coaster offers.

Yeah, did you notice the little lunch break it gives you in the middle of the ride just before the crazy incline? I’m not sure if that is a design flaw or not. I imagine a rider’s anxiety level gets pretty hot just before the train rockets to the top. I want this ride so bad!

I Really Dig Roller Coasters

I’ve always been a huge roller coaster fanatic. There’s just something about starring down a scary looking coaster and taking it for a ride that gets my blood pumping like nothing else. Now, I’m looking at the ugly side of 46 years, so my coaster riding days are definitely numbered. The last roller coaster I rode was the Great American Scream Machine at Six Flags over Georgia. It’s an old wooden coaster that really has that shaky, bumpy ride that makes you wonder if you there aren’t sound reasons why they don’t make coasters out of wood anymore. I rode it with my daughter, another avid fan of coasters who was very excited to give it a ride when she saw the biggest drop which was very impressive from where we stood. The screams coming from the passengers as they are thrown into the deepest abyss were too tantalizing to deny. We had to experience this ride before we left the park.

We must have waited in line for close to an hour which really isn’t bad considering the new coaster Six Flags had built that year was a good three hour wait. It’s the waiting that gets you. You inch your way through the que, watching other people’s faces as they near the gate, they are watching you and you must show no fear. Megan grabs my hand firmly as the roar of the coaster grows louder and louder. I can tell she’s getting nervous. Without the fear, it wouldn’t be any fun.

Finally, it was our turn to take our seats and when that little gate opens there’s always a tremor of fear that belches up from somewhere in my soul. There it is, this train of death just daring you to sit down and let it have it’s way with you. The experience of riding a good coaster gives you a sliver of many different daredevil experiences. You get a little skydiving mixed in with some Indy car racing and to finish it off some bob sledding action to boot. It’s all very thrilling but it’s the fear that cooks in your belly just as those gates open, saying it’s your turn that’s most memorable.

Now, heh, being a tad overweight, I had a little trouble getting the safety bar to lock down so while everyone was anxiously waiting for the coaster to rocket to it’s frightful peaks, a rather agitated voice rang over the loudspeaker “We got a fatty in car number seven.” Two young men came out of the crowd and kicked the bar down past my bulging gut which didn’t hurt nearly as bad as my self esteem bursting into flames. Man, I was stuffed in that car like a tamale but my little girl wanted to ride and by golly I was gonna ride with her.

With a loud mechanic jolt the coaster finally started. Trying to suck in my gut as much as possible did nothing to relieve the tension I was putting on that safety bar. I was worried for my little girl. Even my slight knowledge of physics tells me that two forces pressing against each other hard enough will cause a collapse in something. I was just hoping it would be my pancreas rather than the safety bar. The coaster sped up fast and I told Megan to hold on for dear life. She smiles wildly as her hair danced crazily around her face and then it was too late. There was no turning back. The next few minutes were a blur to me but my lovely daughter says that I screamed like a little girl through most of it. I had an excuse. I told her that having a safety bar jammed into your pancreas can do that to a man.

I still love coasters to this very day even though if I rode one now I’m pretty sure it would put me in a hospital. The last time I climbed off a coaster I couldn’t walk right for a week and my head still doesn’t turn all the way to the left. I like to think that one day I will get to ride another coaster again, heh, when I’m in better shape, who knows. As of now, though, I will simply take pleasure in watching the video recordings of those who are lucky enough to experience them first hand.

Before I finish though, I want to leave you with one more coaster that I loved as a kid. The Beast at Kings Island in Ohio was a monster coaster back in the day. There was tons of foliage and lots of creepy tunnels making it feel like you were on a runaway mining cart or something. Man, what a great ride! Those old wooden rides don’t have the thrills and chills the new ones do in any way but they were still awesome in my book.